When I met my wife at church in Huntington Beach over ten years ago…I wanted to date her because I thought she was hot. That is how most 21 year old guys operate. Nothing wrong with that. However…”looks” won’t get you through life’s struggles and if “looks” is your main concern, it’s likely you’ll become a statistic spending thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees and confusing the bejeebies out of your kids. Guys…In order to save you the trouble, I’ve provided 5 ways you can know you’ve found the right woman. But here’s what you’ve got to promise me. When you do find her… you’d better take good care of her! Too many stupid guys out there are ruining a good thing with the “right woman” because of selfishness. So if you’re not going to treasure her…then please… just save her the trouble and move on. Here is my list…
1. She Gets More Beautiful With Time
Yes… I know “she’s got a sweet spirit”… but you need to be physically attracted to your wife and have a physical relationship with her. You’ll want to kiss her and hug her and flirt with her. You’ll find yourself thinking about her when you get bored at work and you’ll look forward to walking in the door when you get home. She’ll be a “sight for sore eyes” to you and a vacation away from her will be painful. If she is the right woman, you will be more attracted to her as she gets older. After she has your kids…and she thinks she is at her worst, you’ll think she is even more beautiful…and you should tell her. She won’t believe you… but you should tell her anyway. You’ll regularly emphasize the things about her that you are attracted to and it will make her shine. Everyone has a natural desire to feel attractive, but especially women. The more attractive she feels, the more confident she’ll be. The more confident she is, the more attractive she’ll be.
2. She Has a Happy Disposition
You neeeeeed to figure this one out quick. For goodness sake, you’re going to be spending the rest of your life together. She’s going to raise your kids and they’re going to take after her… not you. Nothing is more attractive than a happy person…and happiness is an attraction that can last. Even a shriveled up 90 year old great-grandma can be attractive just by wearing a permanent smile. Conversely, a 30 year old beauty queen with a frown…could turn your world upside down. If you can observe the way she treats other people at church, work ,or within her own family, you’ll get a good idea about how the future is going to turn out for you. Observe her parents. If they are happy people, then there’s a good chance she’ll be happy at their age as well.
3. She Loves God More Than You
It’s actually the most important thing in my mind. She knows there is something bigger than herself. There is something bigger than you. Her world revolves around her commitment to God. This love she has for God will translate into how she treats others and how she treats you. Her mantra will be “serve others first”. It will make her a better mother and you’re kids will be raised knowing what service really is. She will give you a kick in the pants if you ever start getting spiritually lazy and she’ll rebuke you on the spot for treating others unkind. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt because she knows that everyone has a struggle. She doesn’t care about money, popularity, and power because she knows that “we brought nothing into this world and it is certain that we can carry nothing out of it.” All she wants is to keep her family in tact and live a life that is pleasing to God.
4. She Has Interests & Hobbies
This may seem like a weird item to be on the list but it’s super important to you. It doesn’t matter what she’s interested in, but it does matter that she’s interested in something other than you. She doesn’t need to be interested in what you are interested in either. She needs to be engaged in things that she is passionate about and then you need to support her. She’s a pretty little bird that needs to fly without having her wings clipped or being put in a mental cage by a possessive husband. A person with no interests normally watches their life go by and becomes unhappy because of it. A person that gets excited and upbeat about various things in life is more apt to keep that “happy disposition” we talked about above. You will no doubt feel her excitement and it will excite you as a result. I can honestly say that seeing the face of my wife light up with excitement is one of the greatest joys of my life. Therefore…the more things she is excited about…the more attractive she is going to be to you. The more you support her in her interests, the more she’ll support you in your interests.
5. She’s Got Your Back
Whether the kids are trying to go around you or the lady at Church is bad mouthing you in the halls, she’s always looking out for your best interest. She has no desire to make you look bad in front of others. If she has a problem with something you’re doing, she’ll punk you in private. She tells you whats up and then lets it go. She never throws mud from 5 years ago or recites a laundry list in your direction. She knows your faults better than anyone and she isn’t afraid to “help you get better” but you’ll never find her telling stories about all your shortcomings to her friends at the gym. She knows that you’re self esteem is just as fragile as her’s which is why she always finds a way to compliment you and make you feel like a man. She knows that you never feel like you are measuring up. She sees how hard you are on yourself and never stops letting you know that she is there for you. Her loyalty to you is unfailing and you’d better reciprocate.
Ok…so…I’m not saying that every waking minute with your dream wife is going to be a party because life is a struggle sometimes. What I am saying is that the “right woman” is out there waiting for you and if she carries with her these five attributes, you’ve got the opportunity of a lifetime. So don’t be a fool. All you’ve got to do is find a way to make her feel special and there will be no end to the love she pours out upon you…because it is in her nature.