Alright Ladies, I’m here to save you a bunch of time and heartache if you’re not already married, and if you are married and your man doesn’t possess the qualities you’ll read about below, then it might be time to whip that man of yours into shape. This is a sequel to my husband’s article that he wrote entitled “5 Ways You Know You’ve Found The Right Woman“, and he promised me a new dress if I got more readers than he had on his article. So if you happen to share this article, you’ll be doing me a huge favor. So here are my 5 ways to know you’ve found the “right man”!
1. He Respects and Admires TRUE Womanhood
This is extreeemly important because we as women are already naturally insecure. We yearn for the admiration and approval of our husbands, whether we like to admit it or not. If we‘re being honest ladies…we’re especially sensitive and insecure about our looks. How can we not when the world does everything in its power to teach us women (and our men) from birth it seems, that real womanhood is looking like a magazine cover 24/7…without photoshop, I might add. The world gives unrealistic expectations to us women who want to do more in life than workout all day, eat a piece of celery for each meal, and spend thousands of dollars “fixing” ourselves. We want to be great wives, mothers, teachers, and friends. We want to create stronghomes, neighborhoods, and communities. We want to spend our days in the service of others instead of focusing on the superficial in ourselves.
If you have a guy who has fallen for the lies the world is teaching about the worth of women and doesn’t hold in higher esteem the qualities I just listed…RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN! I don’t care how many muscles he has or how articulate he is with his words. Truth is…you are only going to get saggier, wrinklier and chubbier with age…that’s just a brutal fact of life. Make sure you find out what qualities your man holds in highest regard…BEFORE you are married or else you are in for heartache. Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself before you put on that white dress.
- How does he talk about his mother and his sisters?
- When you go out with him, does he treat you with respect; like how he would want his sister to be treated on a date?
- What types of T.V. shows, movies, and magazines does he enjoy looking at? Do they show women in a respectful light?
Your man has the ability to make you feel like a queen or make you feel invisible, so choose wisely. Now ladies, does this mean that you should be allowed to look like a slob all of the time, never exercising or taking care of yourself and then be offended if your guy isn’t totally attracted to you? Of course not! Just like you want your man to be physically attractive to you..in like manner…your husband wants you to be physically attractive to him. As long as you take care of yourself, “the right man” will find you attractive because of who you are and because of who you are becoming. His attraction to you will grow stronger with time…not weaker, because he is attracted to the things that last…not things that will eventually sag.
2. He Has His Priorities Straight
Do you really want to be the girl sitting at home while your man is out “hanging with his buddies” on nights and weekends? Heck no! Does that mean you should put him in lockdown? Heck no again! Your man should be a master at prioritization if you want to have a happy marriage and family life. So what should be first? His relationship with “the Man up stairs” of course. If this priority is on the back burner…all other important relationships will suffer. It is this relationship with God that will help you get through the hard times in life…and make it through still together..and even stronger, rather than jumping out when the storms rage. It is what will help you see beyond the here and now and keep you focused on what is important in the long run.
Next on his list should be you and your family. No man has ever said on his death bed…”I wish I had spent a little more time at work”, but sadly there have been too many who in their last breaths uttered the woeful words “If only I had spent more time with my family.” And imprinted on the minds of his wife and children are all the special events, family dinners, sports games and recitals where dad was not there…but instead… working long hours so his family could have a so-called “better life” together…yet sadly, they were seldom together. I would rather live in poverty than live without my man by my side during all the special moments that make life worth living.
3. He Is A Hard Worker
This may seem like a contradictory statement following the point I made above…but it’s not! The bottom line is, that it is very difficult… even near impossible for a woman to respect her husband if he is lazy and doesn’t try his hardest to provide for his family. That being said… there is a big difference between not making a lot of money and being lazy! A woman can greatly respect her man who works hard everyday for his family but because of circumstances, is not able to make a ton of money. A woman can also have full respect and admiration for her husband if he is unemployed because of circumstances beyond his control…especially in this economy right now…as long as he is working his hardest to become employed again. What a woman can’t respect however, (call it a woman’s survival instinct for her offspring or what have you) is a man who puts his pleasure above working hard for the family. Whether he is just plain lazy and doesn’t feel like working or he would rather be watching T.V. or playing video or computer games, this plants a seed of resentment into the heart of the woman that is hard to overcome.
Find a man that is developing a skill. He’s not a time waster and understands the urgency behind providing a decent living for the family in a competitive world. Get into his past so you can identify his previous accomplishments. Look for things that have required perserverence and determination so that you know he won’t quit on you at the first sign of resistance. No woman wants a momma’s boy that is always looking for the next handout.
Ladies! When you’ve found a hard working man…appreciate him for what he is doing. Be that encouragement he needs in order to get through the trials he faces in life. Respect his hard work by living frugally and not blindly racking up the Nordstrom’s card. Your respect will make him want to work even harder for you!
4. He Is A Protector Of All That Is Sacred
All women want a strong man who can protect the family from an intruder in the home. A manly man who can beat off a pack of starving wolves to save his family. But what I am talking about runs deeper.The man I’m talking about needs to be not only the protector of the physical needs of the family but also a protector of the spiritual and emotional needs of your family. A man who is a protector of the spiritual needs of his family thinks it essential to pray and read scriptures together. He is a good teacher as well as example of all that is good in manhood so that your children can see a stark contrast between the outside world and your home. He is stalwart and faithful in all his duties and reliable. A man who is a protector of the emotional needs of his family speaks kindly, forgives easily and is not too prideful to say he is sorry. His physical protection pales in comparison to the spiritual protection he brings to the home. I don’t know about you, but the home I want to create for my children is a safe, nurturing environment that is a refuge from the storms of the outside world. If this is the kind of home you want to create.. make sure you find a man who wants to create the same environment for his family and is willing to man-up to the responsibility and not just leave it up to you.
5. He Is An Optimist
Nothing is worse than going through life with someone who is constantly dwelling on the negative. I don’t care who you are, you are going to go through hard times during your marriage. Financial troubles, sickness, having children are just a few examples of what you will have to deal with during your life together. Gordon B. Hinckley said that, “there is nothing that dulls a personality so much as a negative outlook.” My husband is always talking about people as being fountains or drains. You may choose to be a fountain, but if you choose to marry a drain, they will suck the life out of you until you have nothing more to give. A person who is a fountain is someone who is always trying to look to the bright side of things. Someone who tries to see the good in any given situation and radiates light and happiness to those they are around. They can easily fix a bad situation because they can see past the challenging aspects of it without getting bogged down with hopelessness. If it’s a situation that can’t be fixed and just has to be endured…it’s sure heck of an easier road if you are holding hands with someone who believes there will be a light at the end of the tunnel rather than believing the sun will never shine again. They are called fountains because they give life to those they meet. On the other hand, a drain never gives… they just continually sucks the life out of people. They are literally draining to be around because of their depressing and dismal outlook on life in general. They make a hard situation worse because they emphasize the difficulty of the problem instead of trying to focus on the remedy.
You need to determine which of these two they are before you get committed. If you hang around a person long enough you can tell which of these two they are. Remember that your kids are going to pattern their lives after them. Watch for how they react to all different kinds of situations and observe whether they are the “glass half empty” or the “glass half full” type of person. Figure it out now before it’s too late, because it sure won’t be fun walking around with a rain cloud the rest of your life. And it definitely won’t make your kids lives any easier either. Conversely, spending the rest of your life basking in the rays of the sun will bring a smile to your face no matter what challenges may come.
No marriage is perfect because there are no perfect people. So if you are waiting for the perfect stud to come along before you say your “I do’s”, good luck with that one…I got the only one…well, at least as close as it gets! No… but seriously, If you have someone who fits this outline for the most part…snatch him up before the next lucky girl does…because there aren’t many around these days and you better thank your lucky stars that the “right man” for you is by your side.