5 Ways You Know You’ve Found The “Right Woman”

When I met my wife at church in Huntington Beach over ten years ago…I wanted to date her because I thought she was hot. That is how most 21 year old guys operate. Nothing wrong with that. However…”looks” won’t get you through life’s struggles and if “looks” is your main concern, it’s likely you’ll become a statistic spending thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees and confusing the bejeebies out of your kids. Guys…In order to save you the trouble, I’ve provided 5 ways you can know you’ve found the right woman. But here’s what you’ve got to promise me. When you do find her… you’d better take good care of her! Too many stupid guys out there are ruining a good thing with the “right woman” because of selfishness. So if you’re not going to treasure her…then please… just save her the trouble and move on. Here is my list…

kristyn burnham trimble

1. She Gets More Beautiful With Time

Yes… I know “she’s got a sweet spirit”… but you need to be physically attracted to your wife and have a physical relationship with her. You’ll want to kiss her and hug her and flirt with her. You’ll find yourself thinking about her when you get bored at work and you’ll look forward to walking in the door when you get home. She’ll be a “sight for sore eyes” to you and a vacation away from her will be painful. If she is the right woman, you will be more attracted to her as she gets older. After she has your kids…and she thinks she is at her worst, you’ll think she is even more beautiful…and you should tell her. She won’t believe you… but you should tell her anyway. You’ll regularly emphasize the things about her that you are attracted to and it will make her shine. Everyone has a natural desire to feel attractive, but especially women. The more attractive she feels, the more confident she’ll be. The more confident she is, the more attractive she’ll be.

2. She Has a Happy Disposition

You neeeeeed to figure this one out quick. For goodness sake, you’re going to be spending the rest of your life together. She’s going to raise your kids and they’re going to take after her… not you. Nothing is more attractive than a happy person…and happiness is an attraction that can last. Even a shriveled up 90 year old great-grandma can be attractive just by wearing a permanent smile. Conversely, a 30 year old beauty queen with a frown…could turn your world upside down. If you can observe the way she treats other people at church, work ,or within her own family, you’ll get a good idea about how the future is going to turn out for you. Observe her parents. If they are happy people, then there’s a good chance she’ll be happy at their age as well.

3. She Loves God More Than You

It’s actually the most important thing in my mind. She knows there is something bigger than herself. There is something bigger than you. Her world revolves around her commitment to God. This love she has for God will translate into how she treats others and how she treats you. Her mantra will be “serve others first”. It will make her a better mother and you’re kids will be raised knowing what service really is. She will give you a kick in the pants if you ever start getting spiritually lazy and she’ll rebuke you on the spot for treating others unkind. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt because she knows that everyone has a struggle. She doesn’t care about money, popularity, and power because she knows that “we brought nothing into this world and it is certain that we can carry nothing out of it.” All she wants is to keep her family in tact and live a life that is pleasing to God.

4. She Has Interests & Hobbies

This may seem like a weird item to be on the list but it’s super important to you. It doesn’t matter what she’s interested in, but it does matter that she’s interested in something other than you. She doesn’t need to be interested in what you are interested in either. She needs to be engaged in things that she is passionate about and then you need to support her. She’s a pretty little bird that needs to fly without having her wings clipped or being put in a mental cage by a possessive husband. A person with no interests normally watches their life go by and becomes unhappy because of it. A person that gets excited and upbeat about various things in life is more apt to keep that “happy disposition” we talked about above. You will no doubt feel her excitement and it will excite you as a result. I can honestly say that seeing the face of my wife light up with excitement is one of the greatest joys of my life. Therefore…the more things she is excited about…the more attractive she is going to be to you. The more you support her in her interests, the more she’ll support you in your interests.

5. She’s Got Your Back

Whether the kids are trying to go around you or the lady at Church is bad mouthing you in the halls, she’s always looking out for your best interest. She has no desire to make you look bad in front of others. If she has a problem with something you’re doing, she’ll punk you in private. She tells you whats up and then lets it go. She never throws mud from 5 years ago or recites a laundry list in your direction. She knows your faults better than anyone and she isn’t afraid to “help you get better” but you’ll never find her telling stories about all your shortcomings to her friends at the gym. She knows that you’re self esteem is just as fragile as her’s which is why she always finds a way to compliment you and make you feel like a man. She knows that you never feel like you are measuring up. She sees how hard you are on yourself and never stops letting you know that she is there for you. Her loyalty to you is unfailing and you’d better reciprocate.

Ok…so…I’m not saying that every waking minute with your dream wife is going to be a party because life is a struggle sometimes. What I am saying is that the “right woman” is out there waiting for you and if she carries with her these five attributes, you’ve got the opportunity of a lifetime. So don’t be a fool. All you’ve got to do is find a way to make her feel special and there will be no end to the love she pours out upon you…because it is in her nature. 

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  • David

    These attributes aren’t real life. If you’re attracted to your wife and express it even in the most respectful ways, she’ll think you are too focused on sex. If you don’t have money so she can drive, live in and have what she wants, she’ll be depressed and dump you. If she has hobbies they’ll be more important than you and she’ll love them more than you and spend more time with them. Most women are fake and act happy around others so they won’t appear shallow, selfish and bitchy. Then when kids come forget about being important in her life. Last thing she has is your back.

    • Ricardo

      Ha ha ha #bitter

    • Jeff

      i disagree with everything you said. I would say any woman who meets a guy with your attitude might be that way.

    • hut

      Man, someone is sour grapes. I take it you’ve had a run of bad women in your life. Trust me, good women who have their man’s back, and who are in it for love more than money DO exist. My man tells me I’m beautiful every day, and I don’t take it as he’s focused on sex. I make more money than he does at present, and that doesn’t bother me in the least. We both have hobbies, and support each other mutually in them.

      It’s true, people can be fake and selfish. But it doesn’t follow that all people are. Be kind, be loving, and be genuine. In time, if you’re patient, you will attract someone who is kind, loving, and genuine too. If you’ve had a bad experience in the past, learn from it so you know how to spot a good woman in the future. But most importantly be the type of person you’d want to attract – that’s my best advice. Aside from, don’t be sour grapes…because bitterness isn’t attractive. Nope.

    • Patricia H

      I think the point you should draw from this is that you didn’t pick a good woman to get involved with. I doubt you’ve had enough relationships with women to ‘know’ what drives most women. Those attributes are real life, you just didn’t pick someone that has them. That’s what he was trying to point out to you, what to look for.

    • Zed

      This article rocked and u are clueless David and must be hang in out with the wrong girls because you are cynical about women and clueless about the good ones :) this will guarantee your unhappiness if you keep such a crappy attitude.

    • kate

      Yeah, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but you are 100% wrong. There are tons of girls out there like you described but I take personal offense because I am like the woman he described int he article. I am not perfect at all but I work dang hard to be the best wife and mom I can be and my husband does the same for me. I’m sorry you had a bad experience, but you aren’t going to ever have a good one with an attitude like that. I’ve been married for 8 wonderful years and we’ve been poor as church mice most of the time but we’ve been happy. Also, a husband needs to express his attraction to his wife regularly. After I had kids I felt uncomfortable about myself and my husband’s loving comments helped me work through it. It’s true once you have kids some of the husbands needs will be on the back burner, you know when I’m sitting there breastfeeding our baby, the family is going to have to wait a few minutes for dinner etc., but so long as you spend regular time making eachother a priority, those wait a minute times aren’t a big deal. Long story short, cheer up dude, life isn’t as bad as you like to think it is, it is what you make it, so make it good.

    • Greg Trimble

      It all depends on the woman you choose. Here is a good article to help you choose the right one.

      http://www.gregtrimble.com/how-to-find-marital-ecstasy-through-14-pieces-of-candy/

  • Nathan M.

    As a single man with a real and loving mother, I don’t know if the same applies to mothers as it would to future spouses. As much as my mom loves me, “having my back” sometimes means overstepping bounds and acting paranoid and over-protective. It means being overly sensitive. But “having my back” doesn’t always include NOT bringing up past things. One other thing that I’ve learned that I assume to be universal is that no matter how much a woman forgives, she NEVER forgets. It’s just an observation that may not be over-arching in all circumstances, but in my relationship with my mom I find myself just waiting for the next time that I did something that hurt her years ago.

  • Jeff

    This is a great post. It’s true that a woman can be beautiful in many more ways than just her appearance, but even that can change when you spend every day of your life with them. They become your better half and perfect compliment. One thing I would say is check your use of “you’re,” it’s “your.”

  • lol

    LOL is this even realistically possible?

  • Patricia H

    The exact same attributes work for the men in our lives too. We’ve been married 43 years now, and my husband is more handsome, more of everything good than that skinny kid I married. I actually listened to my Mom when she pointed out that the guy I was dating at the time, was too shallow to wear well over the years. She said I should let that nice guy over on the other side of the room take me out instead. She was right.

    • Greg Trimble

      Thats an awesome story!

    • Greg Trimble

      This is awesome!

  • Joseph

    The 5 points the author makes are completely irrelevant. He wouldn’t have married her in the first place I’d she wasn’t physically attractive. He got lucky that she happened to also be a great person.

    • Greg Trimble

      Yes…I did get lucky that she was also a great person. The point here however, is that I also knew she was a great person before I married her. I wouldn’t have married her just because she was good looking. Looks fade, the person doesnt…

    • Guest Poster

      exactly. all this nice stuff is secondary to how hot she is. well, sucks for the chicks who are anything less than a 10, regardless of whether or not they have these attributes!

  • JD

    Greg, you’re a lucky man. Everything you just said is spot on. I wish I hadn’t made the mistake I made. Now kids involved and I live with a woman I adore but she doesn’t adore anything in her life. She loves God but doesn’t live by His word or through His word. She doesn’t have my back-hell we’re married and not even friends on Facebook. She will post dumb things about me to everyone on Facebook, not even tell me. She’s a perfect 10 physically. She has no close friends, hobbies or serious interests. AND to make it all worse, she’s typically sighing and puffing and not very happy. I’m serious, if sh was happy most of the time and she actually showed it on the outside most of the time-life would actually be okay. Take all the crap she does and through in eore attitude and… My dad (66) just says, son you’re a better man than me and he’s a deacon at his church.

    • Greg Trimble

      I definitely am lucky! I hope things get better for you man. Maybe there is some way for you to get the best out of her?

    • Greg Trimble

      Yes! I do feel very lucky. I hope everything turns out ok for you bro!

  • Deaisme

    Oh my gosh, he just described ME! Lol!

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  • Cyborganic99

    LOl. #3.
    “isn’t God great honey?
    Oh yes he is awesome.
    I love you, but not as much as god.
    I know, Compared to god, I freaking hate your guts.
    When we’re making love, I close my eyes and pretend you’re god.
    I know. I hear you screaming his name. (Oh god. Oh God yes!). And I’m so into that!
    Oh I love God soo much! And you, I guess.
    Yess!

  • thall

    You are spot on with every single one of your 5 points!! I spent 20+ years with someone who didn’t have most of these traits. We struggled to say the least, even did marriage counseling for over 4 years trying to “fix” it. I don’t blame her anymore than I blame me, but it just did not work! After our divorce I was tremendously blessed to find someone that has all 5 of these traits you describe – what a difference! Everyday is a joy! I have never felt so in love and so loved!! Just as you describe, I look forward to coming home from work everyday; I do daydream about her at work; I want nothing but her happiness because she makes me so incredibly happy! I would say to all those that question if this is realistic or possible, ABSOLUTELY! I have lived both sides and the one described by this article is a perfect description of my current spouse who fills my life with peace and joy, and especially LOVE like I never knew existed! You hit the nail on the head with your 5 points, which verified for me I did indeed find the ‘Right Woman’. Fantastic job!

    • Greg Trimble

      Great Words!

  • Greg Trimble

    lol

    • JustLurkin

      Whoa, duck, man. They just brought out the long pencils.