Let me start off by saying that I’ve never been a “public display of affection” kind of guy. I always thought it was so lame to see a couple all over each other in public. If you haven’t yelled “get a room” to some couple over the years, then surely you have whispered it under your breath a time or two.
How about the couple that tries to walk side by side with each other, each person having an arm around the others hip. And even worse…the couple that tries to walk one in front of the other with both arms around each other. They have to get this sort of synchronized walking thing down so that they don’t trip over each other on every step. I can’t help but laugh every time I see that.
Remember sitting in church and the chorus of “back scratchers” seemed louder than the choir? I don’t even know if you could consider it a back scratch. It was more like a back maul. I know you remember! Maybe that was even you last week!
Worst of all is the passionate, public make-out session. Seriously, no one wants to see that. Just save it. Some even follow it up with the passionate and public “I love you declarations” and at this point you’ve got one hand over your mouth to keep from throwing up and another hand over your child’s eyes to keep them from being scarred for life.
But wait a minute! Maybe public displays of affection are not all that bad. Maybe they are just abused and misunderstood. Abused by the oblivious few and misunderstood by the conservative majority. Think about it. You were probably far more apt to exhibit these public displays of affection when you first met your husband or wife. Were not those times some of your most fun times together. But you’re so old now… and you’ve been married for years…and you’re over that now…right? Wrong…or at least you shouldn’t be over it.
All of the happy long term marriages I’ve seen each seem to have the same thing in common. Almost without fail, the spouses always greet each other with a kiss, just like when they were first dating. Not a kiss that would make everyone else sick around them but a kiss that you can tell is standard in their relationship. You’ll also notice the man finding ways to touch his wife in kind, respectful and uplifting ways. A hand on the small of her back as he ushers her into a room or into a chair. She reciprocates by interlocking her arm with his or leaning her head on his shoulder. The list could go on but these are a couple examples of public displays of affection that are not going to make others gag, and at the same time keep the romanticism alive. They keep it young. They keep it fresh.
There is something special about a couple in a crowded room that beeline it to each other after locking eyes for the first time that day. I don’t care whether they are 90 years old or 20 years old. It’s as if no one else in the room matters…and for that brief moment, they have dedicated a few seconds to each other to reconnect. When they kiss…its not hurried and you can tell they’re not embarrassed. It’s their moment and they don’t care who is watching. They make it magical, and instead of others throwing up, they’re left in awe.
[Tweet “”So… maybe public displays of affection aren’t that bad after all.””]So… maybe public displays of affection aren’t that bad after all. Some will always be bad. No doubt. But maybe our phobia of PDAs have hardened us toward any and all forms of public affection. In fact, I believe there could be thousands of marriages saved just by putting down their PDAs (Personal Digital Assistants) and engaging in more PDAs (Public Displays of Affection). I’m going to kiss my wife in public more often and I think you should too…
Thanks for another great post!
Great article. My husband and I have been married for 25 years, we still show each other affection in public, ( not over the top). It is part if who we are, respect and affection will help keep your marriage strong.
This is an awesome example of exactly what I was trying to articulate. You keep up the great example!
Latter-day Saints believe that angels are men and women, human beings, sons and daughters of God, personages of the same type as we are. Parley P. Pratt, an early apostle wrote, “Gods, angels and men are all of one species, one race, one great family” ( Robert L. Millet, The Mormon Faith: A New Look at Christianity, Salt Lake City, UT: Shadow Mountain / Deseret Books, 1998) 39.
Where in the Book of Mormon or Bible is this taught ?
It depends on the person, everyone is different. My husband is very PDA and I’m not. I just don’t need someone all over me all the time to know that they care about me. I have no doubt for my husbands love, and he has never doubted mine. But over the years we have both learned to respect each other needs, I don’t mind holding hands and maybe a peck to say hello. But if he starts grabbing at me, overly kissing me, and touching when I’m in public it gets overwhelming for me. Not from embarrassment, but it as a space issue, we are not one person. To be all over me when I’m trying to have a good time when I’m out and about is unattractive to me, I have been with my husband for 15 years, so kissing in public doesn’t make our relationship stronger, communicating and talking does. Our relationship is at its strongest, and I love him more now then I did when we went through that honeymoon kiss kiss phase 14 years ago. And out of all the years we’ve been together we have hand maybe 2 or 3 mild fights. The magic behind a great relationship is to become your spouses best friend, kissing and sex only enhances the emotional relationship you have with each other.
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