4 Guaranteed Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock!

The divorce rate is going up and the amount of people getting married is going down. What a tragedy! So many people are missing out on what can be the most exciting reasons for living. When a husband and a wife realize just how awesome their relationship can be, they will take the steps to make it into the fairytale they always dreamed of. Instead sitting around your house going through the motions and wasting precious time bickering about insignificant things, take the next 3 minutes of your life and read about 4 surefire ways to make your marriage rock!

Man and a woman face to face

1. The “15 Second Kiss”

I read about this from a really cool marriage blog that I’ll share right here. Let me give you the jist and tell you how it works for me. The story in the blog talked about an old couple that had a long and successful marriage. The blogger asked the old man what the key to their marital success was. The man summed it up in one small sentence; “The 15 Second Kiss”.

Think about it. If you commit yourselves to kissing your spouse for 15 seconds straight every day, it will have to mean something. No more going through the motions with a quick kiss goodbye or goodnight. No…this is a serious kiss…and 15 seconds is just long enough to make you mean it. That kiss…that one kiss everyday will change everything. It will be impossible for you not to feel closer…and it will no doubt conjure up memories of when and why you fell in love with this person.

No matter how bad your day was or how mad you might be at your spouse, if you will walk through that door and beeline it straight into a nice smushy kiss, by second 10… you’ll forget all about what you were mad at and all of the sudden a minute goes by in a blink. Who know’s where that will lead…but one thing is certain; you will be closer because of it!


2. Use the “Platinum Rule” Instead of the Golden Rule

Isn’t the golden rule the end all be all of having a great relationship? I thought so…until I heard of the “platinum rule”. Credit goes to a guy named Steve Beaulieu. I’m not sure if he made it up, but he’s where I first heard it. He talked about his own marriage and how “treating others how you want to be treated” isn’t always the best thing. Two spouses that grew up in totally different atmospheres may have totally different ideas of the right way to be treated. You may be really vocal in praising your wife and naturally think your doing her a great service. Have you considered that maybe that is not what satisfies her? You say all of those things to her because that is how you’d like to be treated. You want her to praise you and vocally reinforce her love for you. That is how YOU want to be treated. But maybe less words and more actions is what makes her happy.

The “Platinum Rule” turns the “Golden Rule” on it’s head and does it one better. Don’t focus on how you would like to be treated, but tune in to how she would like to be treated. If both parties apply the Platinum Rule, both parties will be treated how they would like to be treated and both of you become happier.

3. Fantasy Date Once a Month

Put down your fantasy football and fantasy baseball for just one second and figure out how to go on a fantasy date at least once a month. You don’t need to be rich to do this…you just need to be creative.

Every month, one of you should plan a fantasy date night. The person planning it should plan something that they want to do with no consideration for the other person. (I know this sounds counterintuitive…but just try it) If I want to go to a baseball game and then to get ice cream sandwiches after the game, it is my month. I get to do what I want. Kristyn can get me back next month when she plans an exciting night at the ballet or opera. The point of this exercise is two fold. First it eliminates the “what do you wanna do? No what do you wanna do?” saga… and second, because there is an understanding of the arrangement, it forces you to get interested in what the other person likes to do most. Because both of you are aware and you’ve accepted the arrangement, your perspective changes on the events that take place during that person’s fantasy date night and you just might start to enjoy some of the things your spouse enjoys.


4. Don’t try to change the other person.

We spend our lives trying to get everyone else to think and act like we do. We want to mold everyone to our way of thinking…and who do you think gets the brunt of that natural tendency. Ya…you got it. Your spouse. You are individuals and should be free to enjoy all of the things you enjoy. Some spouses get ultra controlling and give new meaning to the phrase “ball and chain”. The more supportive you are of the things that the other person likes to do, the more your spouse is going to want to be around you. Never discourage each other from pursuing each other’s passions. To do so is to engender a feeling of spite and that is a horrible thing to have in a relationship.

Here’s a hypothetical. Jeff loves Monday night football but Molly hates Monday night football. Instead of Molly bagging on Jeff and beating him up for it every time Monday night rolls around, Molly says…”Hey Jeff, Monday night football stinks…but that’s ok. Tell your buddies to come over and I’ll cook you guys some dinner.” Jeff can’t believe how cool of a wife he has and Jeff’s friends are jealous beyond belief.

Now the tables are turned… and this Friday, Molly wants to have a Pride and Prejudice marathon. That’s right guys… 6 plus hours of your worst nightmare. So Jeff…being the smart dude that he is…recognized Molly’s effort on Monday…and says, “Molly…that’s great! I’ll pick up some take out and we’ll have a marathon on Friday night.” Molly is blown away by Jeff and all of the sudden Mr. Darcy doesn’t have anything on Jeff. Jeff starts to like Pride and Prejudice because now he’s racking up the “15 second kisses”.

If you apply these 4 principles to your marriage, you will be taken to a world that few have ever gone to. Don’t waste anymore time!

 

 

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    • I wonder if I can apply any of these with my co-workers, as well.

      • Greg Trimble

        Wow dude… Wow

      • Ann_W

        Try the 15 sec kiss. That should be a hit!

    • Lynda M. Nelson

      Awesome. And it’s never too late to start. Thanks!

    • robert_rocalink_com

      #2 is a good one that you can REALLY fig in to by checking out the 5 Love Languages., a book that has had a huge impact on our marriage.

      I also highly recommend Denis Boyds, Marriage can be Great… No, Really! http://www.denisboyd.com/resources/books-cds/

      Both are great books that are easy to read and you keep going back to and keeping current.

      http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/the-five-love-languages-how/9780802473158-item.html?s_campaign=goo-BooksByTitle&gclid=CPKw89DR9L0CFewRMwodFzkAAA

    • robert_rocalink_com

      Item #2 is great
      It is similar to the 5 Love Languages book which I highly recommend
      And another one by Denis Boyd “Marriage Can Be Great… No, Really!
      http://www.denisboyd.com/resources/books-cds/

      5 Love languages: http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/the-five-love-languages-how/9780802473158-item.html?s_campaign=goo-BooksByTitle&gclid=CPKw89DR9L0CFewRMwodFzkAAA

      Both are books we keep coming back to… Just reviewed a chapter in Denis Boyds’ book today.

      • Tanner Ellsworth

        The Five Love Languages is a life-changer. It is a must-read for any married couple. I will check out “Marriage Can Be Great”. Thanks for that.

    • jennastamps

      Awesome! Thanks for the great ideas! I especially love #s 1 and 2 for what I can do now to give us a boost. Great post!

      • Greg Trimble

        Perfect! Thanks!

    • SenoraSeminarian

      What the heck. So the wife has to cook dinner for the husband’s friends but the husband gets to pick up takeout???? (not to mention football v pride and prejudice – I vote for neither) Freakin sexist, stereotyping gender roles to just further enforce gender inequality. Good ideas until that one. #sexism

      • Greg Trimble

        I pick up take out because I suck at cooking and my wife would prefer it. My wife is a great cook so she cooks… because she wants to. We don’t have TV in our house so I don’t watch football…nor do I care to watch it. I’m more of a baseball person myself. It was just a hypothetical. Your reading to much into it. The point was to try and do things that the other spouse likes to do and I used that as an extreme example. My wife would certify to you that there is no sexism in our house…”Free Yourself From The Bondage of Negativity”

      • Greg Trimble

        My wife knows how to cook and I suck at it. Therefore I buy some stuff that she likes and she makes some stuff that I like. Not everything is as sexist as you may think. I don’t really like football either…just an example of the stark differences between men and women. I do like pride and prejudice though…

        Just because you don’t like to cook doesn’t mean every woman doesn’t like to cook…

      • Becham

        You know I’m all for gender equality. I love being a woman. I love having a voice and I love it when it is heard and appreciated. But I also hate football and LOVE to cook. Not because I’m a woman. Cooking for me is a form of creative expression. I love it when my fiance has friends come over and I get to cook for a whole group of people. He gets to do something that he loves (and I don’t have to do it with him;) and I still get to spend some time with him and show him love and support by cooking good food for him and his friends. That brings me genuine joy and satisfaction. The truth of the matter is, he’s a terrible and impatient cook. Not because he’s male, but because he doesn’t enjoy it. So if he wants to plan dinner one night, I would GLADLY eat his take-out than some overcooked mystery glob. It’s the thought of him wanting to give me extra time to pamper myself that counts.

        The only #sexism taking place here is in the way you are choosing to perceive the situation. Some people simply like doing things because they like doing them, regardless of their gender.

    • Greg Trimble

      No but I do have a single sister… 🙂 Thanks for reading!

    • Jeff Schaefer

      My name is Jeff. I’m a football nut. My newlywed wife’s name is Molly. She’s an artsy fartsy pride and prejudice fan…a little weird, but now I know our plans for the weekend 😉

    • Ed Hart

      Love this. If I could just get my on board for the 15 second kisses! 🙂 I wrote a similar article on my blog, ejhart.wordpress.com, in case anyone cares. 🙂

    • Zamara Moon

      “The 15 Second Kiss” ~ well it took my hubby and I about 5 mins to accomplish this the first time we tried. I couldn’t figure out how to work the stopwatch on my phone and the rest of the time we giggled at the fact we were actually going to time ourselves kissing. We committed to doing it every day for 2 weeks. We were surprised at how much stronger it made our relationship. It was so much fun! We will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary in a week and a half and it’s amazing that just taking those extra 15 seconds a day brought us even closer together……

    • Tanner Ellsworth

      Great advice. Thanks, Greg!

    • razz

      I could see my own brain I was rolling my eyes back so far.

    • LIOTB

      DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS 82:18-19
      18 And all this for the benefit of the church of the living God, that every man may improve upon his talent, that every man may gain other talents, yea, even an hundred fold, to be cast into the Lord’s storehouse, to become the common property of the whole church—
      19 Every man seeking the interest of his neighbor, and doing all things with an eye single to the glory of God.

    • Ra

      Dreaming of polygamy and the mansion above in the next life helps me screw things up in this life. The impossible expectations of unrighteous dominion and temple recommend holding priesthood holders who abuse then divorce their spouses. They expect on demand polygamy type of sexual performance from their wife / slave today. They are pissed that the church has disavowed polygamy for a season and that they are stuck with one wife. They dream of the 70 virgins and polygamy nirvana in the celestial kingdom. The silence from the church on this great evil is deafening and enabling. The temple recommend gives them license to act like idiots. Remember President Hinckley calling priesthood holders to repentance over racism in 2006. http://bit.ly/2fuGR9W UGLY and UNACCEPTABLE!