It’s no mystery that many people are not happy in the relationships they are in. There is an old Jewish tradition that states “a happy marriage is as rare as the parting of the Red Sea.” I am utterly convinced that in many relationships…this issue has a lot to do with the guy. There are some women out there that definitely defy the odds, make bad decisions, and make it impossible to live with…but I believe that if the guys would just step up and open their eyes to a few natural truths, relationships would thrive with time instead of wither and die. If you can figure out what your woman wants, and then meet those needs, you have no idea what kind of love she can pour out upon you! Here are 5 suggestions to figuring out what your woman wants!
1. Watch A Few Of Her Favorite “Romantic” Movies
Do you ever wonder why women flock in the millions to go and watch a movie about vampires? Yeah…the ‘Twilight’ movies generated a whopping $5,736,100,000 (yes…thats billion) in total franchise sales. Think about all those women in a frenzy to watch the new twilight movies. Sitting on the sidewalk all night, midnight showings, sold out theaters. Seems like women wouldn’t be that interested in vampires…right? Maybe it was Jacob’s muscles or Jaspers unbelievable fighting skills that got them there. Maybe the awesome special effects when the vampires turned into crystal and then seemed to float when they were running. Probably not. I believe a majority of women got so interested in those books because of how Edward felt about Bella.
There is a reason why women love these types of movies. There is a reason why many of them have an old VHS set of ‘Pride & Prejudice’ ready to roll at a moments notice, and its not because of how cool Mr. Wickham is. It’s the way Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth that gives women hope that their current or future man might one day look at them they way he looked at her.
Grab some popcorn and find a way to endure these types of films. Then apply some of the things you learn from these fictional GQ’s. You might even start to like these movies…
2. Test Her Happiness Barometer
“The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results.” You might be sick of that quote by now but it definitely has application in your relationship. You need to mix it up a bit. Try different things in order to test her happiness barometer. You might have a routine to come home from work, kick off your shoes, and sit on the couch the rest of the night. You wonder why she doesn’t show you the love you might expect. You cant understand why she’s not running over to you and falling all over you when you get home.
Try this. When you are as tired as tired can be…get off your duff and find a way to muster the strength necessary to do something for her that you might not normally do. Go over and help with the dishes, read with the kids, tell her a story about your day (which most guys don’t do) or find something that needs cleaning and do it without being asked. Don’t expect her to always be serving you. She’ll automatically reciprocate when she sees you going the extra mile for her. It’s in her nature!
Remember that she didn’t sign up with you so that she could have another little kid. She wants a man…and an emotionally intelligent one at that. As you try different things, pay particular attention to how she reacts and how it effects her countenance. Now you’ll know exactly what makes her happy so that you can apply those things at any future date.
3. Don’t Get Stale
Most girls didn’t sign up to marry an old codger either, but unfortunately after a couple years…that’s exactly what they get. You may be content to sit on the couch each Friday night and watch the baseball game but you might want to change it up a bit. Women like to get dressed up, go out to dinner, and date you. Why not plan some really fun dates and keep her guessing. Re-enact the things you guys did when you first met and find ways to stay young. Age is a state of mind.
[Tweet “”Age is a state of mind””]Think on those dating days for a moment. It’s almost like a fairy tale. You hung out 24/7. You never wanted to go home. You always had to be touching…even if it was just barely. You waited anxiously for that phone to ring or for a text message to come through. You came up with creative ideas to show your love. You kissed in the movie theater once the previews were done and the lights went out. You joked, you laughed, and smiles were plentiful. You don’t have to leave that stage of your life behind once you’re married. In fact, you should work toward preserving and enhancing that aspect of your relationship. Conjure up the feelings, emotions, circumstances, and creativity that you had before you were married and commit yourselves to making it a part of your life going forward.
4. Take Care Of Yourself
I think there are too many men that expect their wife to be in shape but conversely believe that it’s ok for them to turn into Al Bundy. Get up and get active! It will improve all aspects of your relationship and make you and her feel better. She will be much more motivated to be active if she sees you making it a priority in your life. There is nothing shallow about wanting to be in good shape. You’re wife probably doesn’t give you much slack about it, but deep down…everyone wants their partner to be active and lively… so just by adopting a consistent workout schedule and a healthy diet, you can rack up some easy points.
5. Place Her First
Maybe more important than them all is this; You need to make her feel special. This correlates with the first point made here. The reason women like those “Romantic” movies is because the guys in those movies always place their girl first. They would do anything for her and they’d move mountains to be in her presence. Now I know that some of that stuff is dramatized…and some of it is unrealistic but you can get the idea. She wants to be loved by you. She’s wanted that since she was a little girl. She’s got to be your number one priority in life (other than God) and if you do that…she will respond.
So if you ever look at your wife and she looks like she could use a boost…try one or more of the suggestions above and watch her light up. You have no idea how much you can effect her level of happiness. You…more than anyone on this earth, are capable of placing a smile on her face and keeping it there…if you would only do what it takes to become the man she always wanted!
The best way you can be the man she always wanted is to be the person that you need to be in all aspects as a man of god and as a priesthood holder. If you honor your priesthood, keep God’s commandments, and love your wife as Christ loves the church then your marriage will be a success and be bound throughout all eternity.
Great thoughts Bryan!
Yes yes yes yes YES YESSSSS! I was literally writing this entire blog post in my mind when I saw this post in my inbox. In the stupid yet awesome words of Edward Cullen, “you are my life now.” — that’s what we lined up for.
Sorry, I would rather poke out my eyes than watch “Twilight.”
Haha! Cmon.
me too ! acting was shallow, subpar and I can’t stand christen stewarts dumb expressions and mouth breathing . and its plain creepy edwards was hunting her and watched her sleep before they had a relationship -creeper alert ! the reasons people like twilight is the idea of eternal love and someone being entirely devoted to you no mater the circumstance.
Far from it dude…
I write a lot of what I write to remind me of the things I should be doing…
But thanks for the comment!
Greg ~ Do NOT regard the opinion of nay-sayers like payupsucks. His comment was totally disrespectful, so why publish it? As I have read your blog a few times, I read only a man who seems to “get it” on so many fronts and not one who considers himself perfect. And, I’d allow that you get it that payupsucks comes from his own issues. “Carry On”.
haha! Thanks!
Have to say, I have a long way to go here.
Good article. #4 take care of yourself is a big one. Its hard when your spouse gains 10, 20 or 30 pounds after getting married and still be as intimate and close as before.
love this !! we do crave attention to be put first and have excitement in our lives !