5 Reasons Why I’ll Buy My Wife The New Apple Watch

I don’t write for Apple and I’m certain they don’t need a boost in marketing. It seems like those stinkers have that pretty well dialed in.

I’ve almost never seen an apple device that I didn’t like. There’s something special about walking through one of their stores, browsing their website, or tuning into one of their live events during mid September to find out whats just around the corner.

So when I tuned into this last Apple event to see what was coming up…they announced the “Apple Watch”. I’m not a big watch guy. Actually…I hate watches. I’ve been given watches in the past. I wear it for a few days, take it off and set it somewhere and never really pick it up again.

apple watch

I mean seriously…except for shear fashion…why in the world does anyone need a watch these days. People have their phone on them constantly. They have iPads and tablets at arms length. They’ve got digital clocks in their cars, clocks on the computers, and clocks all over the walls.

Again…why would you ever need a watch these days? You might as well just wear a bracelet.

So when Apple announced their new “Apple Watch”… I was like, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” I’ll take it one step further. “Ain’t nobody got money for that!”

I thought to myself, “This is going to be Apple’s biggest failure”. Nobody is going to wear that watch, let alone pay for one. And then one day when I was calling my wife and she wasn’t answering her phone…it struck me… “Apple is Genius…everyone is going to buy that stinking watch!”

Think about it. Everyone has someone in their family that “never answers their phone”. You could be trying to get a hold of someone for hours and that person is just going about their business with no idea that you’re calling them.

“My phone was in my purse”

“I left my phone in the car”

“The kids were playing with my phone”

“I had it on vibrate”

“I was at the gym” etc… etc…

Meanwhile…I’m trying to figure out where we should be meeting the Johnsons dinner!

I can’t tell you how many funny arguments I’ve heard in so many families where the subject line is “You never answer your phone!

So Apple figures that men all over the globe will figure this out and buy an Apple Watch for their wife. And for the men that “never answer their phones”… Santa will be dropping one of those watches off in their stocking as well.

For my wife specifically…there are 5 reasons why I’ll be buying her an Apple Watch.

1. Her phone is normally buried in her purse

There are so many reasons why I don’t want her phone in that purse. That purse is like a black hole. Things go in and never come back out. When she actually does hear her phone ringing…she frantically rummages around that purse looking for it and rarely finds it before it stops ringing. I sometimes dread calling her when I know she’s driving because I know she’s probably trying to drive and rummage through her purse simultaneously.

Not safe!

But if she’s got this watch on her wrist and she’s driving…she can just tap the watch and start talking. Danger level reduced!

Most women don’t have pockets on their dresses…and most phones don’t fit in their jeans. Phones are getting pretty big these days…and then you add a protective case and you’ve got women that rarely have their phone “on” them.

Whether her phone is on vibrate or is ringing…she’s going to know if a call is coming through when its on her wrist. All she needs to do is tap the watch to answer a call, get a text, or see an email.

2. It would look pretty on her arm

Girls like to get jewelry…and guys like to buy technology. Have you seen the Apple Watch lineup?! It’s like a perfect storm of male and female purchaser incentives.

Gosh I think so many of those watches would look pretty on her arm.

3. She likes to work out

Men and women everywhere are getting “Fitbit” and other bands to wear around their wrist. Based on what I’ve seen demoed from Apple, it appears that this watch will do everything that these “fit bands” will do…and way more. From syncing to calorie counting applications to real time measurements, the watch can do it all. They have an “athletic” line of watches that are said to be made durable for the people that will work out a lot with the watch on.

4. I’ll be able to get a hold of her

Nothing is more irritating than trying to get a hold of someone in emergencies or when something important comes up. “Hey I’m running late at a meeting…can you pick the kids up from baseball”? It’s not really her fault if she doesn’t see my call. She might be busy or left the phone in the other room. No one keeps their phone on them all the time during the day or hears every call and message. But if her new apple watch gives her a subtle notification…our lines of communication are going to increase ten fold.

Has Apple ventured into the “improving marital communications” business?

5. Because I hope she’ll get me one

Like I said…I’m not a watch guy. Never have been. But after watching the Apple Watch introduction…I can’t lie. I want one. There are many times I’d love to leave the phone at home or in the car. Maybe I’m going skiing or snowboarding and I don’t want my big iPhone in my pocket. Maybe I’m coaching baseball practice or I’m at the gym. I could be running in the neighborhood, or hiking in Yosemite. There are many times I don’t want my phone…but I’d still like to get notifications. (The only thing that would make this apple watch better would be if the watch was waterproof. When I surf…it’s for hours…and I could probably surf longer if I had an Apple Watch that was waterproof.)

After I buy one of these watches for my wife…I think I’ll try and convince my mom to buy one for my dad. The guy never answers his phone! When you look at the Apple Watch in this light…it becomes clear just how genius Apple really is.

Ok…I’ve never wrote a product review…and I don’t consider this one of them because I don’t even have the product, but I figured I’d repent for slamming the new Apple Watch before I had thought it through all the way!

Upon first hearing about the watch…I just kind of wrote it off. But after I watched this video…my attitude changed. https://www.apple.com/watch/films/#film-design

[Update] : Number 5 on this list could be incorrect. I’ve read various things and the speculation is that you’d need to have your iPhone close in order to take calls or get messages. That would put a damper on me “leaving my phone in the car”.

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  • Sean Michael Endicott

    I appreciate a lot of your work and that you help answer real questions. I may have misunderstood the purpose of your blog so I apologize if I assumed why you run it. I’m not a fan of seeing a product endorsement between blog posts about serious gospel topics within the same blog. You have very touching pieces on abortion and deep gospel issues. This piece really doesn’t fit in.
    I’m sure that lots of people will get and love the apple watch and other smart watches like the Moto 360 and the Microsoft band but I feel very uncomfortable about this being on a page where in the corner there’s a window about “What Every Mormon Really Needs to Know About Polygamy.”

    • Hey Sean…I write about a bunch of stuff. It’s not just Mormon and it’s not just serious. It’s primarily just my thoughts on life and the various things I feel strongly about.

      As far as the ad’s on the site go…it became too expensive to operate the site without having some sort of revenue to offset the cost of operating the blog. It became almost a full time job and the hard costs increased on the server every time an article went viral.

      Hope you’ll understand!



      • Cara Valentino

        I love it! A little mini product endorsement for Moto 360 and microsoft band in a comment about not being a fan of endorsement….
        I am happy with the variations of topics, except try to keep the viagra ads to a minimal, ok. Keep writing brother!

  • Kate

    My husband has a Samsung watch. It is great because when he is driving I don’t have to worry about calling him. He can keep both hands on the wheel and still talk through the watch. His car is old and LOUD yet I still hear him well. I also like that he can discretely check who is calling or texting when at work, so if it is important than he can step out to answer or respond. So I definitely agree with your post. 🙂

    • Nice! So some validation to my thoughts! Thanks so much for the comment!

  • Todd

    Greg, initial reports have guesstimated costs at $5000. Will you still buy it?

    • Heck no… lol. No one will. Except you and Steve Ballmer. 🙂

      • Todd

        I won’t either. I drink the Kool-Aid but won’t buy watch for the cost of what I can purchase a car for or what would be equivalent to 3 house payments.

        You know who would though? BILL LINDSAY!

        • haha! Bill will definitely be sporting one of these.

    • Joshua Cumrine

      Fortunately the $5000 estimated price tag is only for the Edition Watch. The others (Watch and Sport Watch) will be in the $349-499 range.

  • Virginia

    Greg…you are one cool dude. Great point.

  • Broken bose

    Greg… Too funny. My strategy is buy my wife something expensive, at least more expensive than the thing you want. And then get yourself that thing you want just a little later. That way, you’ve taken away from her a reason for the you not to have it–because it’s too much. I know…shameless.

  • John Fueston

    I’ll take mine now, please. I said “please.”